Letting Go of Negativity

Lately, I have been surrounded by it. It's an all-encompassing aura that infects an entire room within minutes. I myself, have tried to stay immune to it. For others however, negativity has become an accessory they wear day in and day out. 

Life, yes, is hard. There will always be obstacles, things that we cannot handle. But the more I think about negativity, the more I realize how paralyzing it can really be. Why waste precious hours dwelling on it? Is complaining really going to change the situation? Are there ways we can be more positive each day? 

I recently had a conversation with one of my closest friends and I came to this conclusion: We are not granted tomorrow. Each hour we spend dwelling on what weighs us down is another wasted hour; another wasted opportunity. 

So how do you "snap outta it?" How do you "get happy" and live the life you know you deserve? 

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1. Believe that everything will turn out just fine in the end, because it usually does

Take a deep breath. 

The storm, darling, will always pass. 

2. Learn the basics of investing, so that you’re able to grow your wealth

Money creates A LOT of stress. But if you can figure out ways to invest your hard-earned money or save it, you will have less stress. Save, save, save. You DON'T need that extra pair of shoes. You want them. 

3. Say exactly what you mean with kindness

Take a second before you speak. Think about the words and how they could come across to the listener. DON'T text. So many things you are trying to say cannot be accurately portrayed within the context of 140 characters or less. Actually engage in conversation. Turn your phone off when you are sharing a cup of coffee with someone. 

4. Believe in something bigger than yourself

This can be hard. But believe with everything you have in you. 

5. Be a peacemaker, not a warmonger
Don't stir the drama, offer to mediate. 

6. Before making any major decision, sleep on it
Never make big decisions on temporary emotions. 

7. Pray, meditate or reflect every day
Enough said.

8. If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all
This goes back to middle school ladies and gents, it is better to keep your mouth shut.

9. Do unto others as you’d have them do unto you

10. Find a reason to laugh every day
It truly is the best medicine. 

Happy Weekend: Friday Inspiration

You are a work in progress; which means you get there a little at a time, not all at once.  The rest of today is a brand new day – a fresh start.  Replace negativity with positivity.  Think happy thoughts.  Exercise your mind and body.  Healthy is happy.  Inspire yourself.  Create.  Laugh.  Run.  Play.  Love.  Learn.  Give someone a compliment.  Perform a random act of kindness.  Take a chance on an idea you believe in.

You have the opportunity to do these things every single day – to make the necessary changes and slowly become the person you want to be.  You just have to decide to do it.  Decide that today is the day.  Say it: “This is going to be my day, starting now!”

{Source}

15 priceLESS Gifts You Can Give Yourself

Loving this advice from one of my favorite bloggers, bellaMUMMA & needed to reblog! 

1. The freedom to be unapologetically YOU. Faking it is fatiguing. It’s much wiser to just be yourself – faults and all. Remember, imperfection is beauty; madness is genius. It is better to be ridiculously you, than ridiculously boring by trying to be the same as everyone else.

2. An uninhibited imagination. Life is changing faster and faster with every passing day. The world tomorrow looks nothing like the world today. And the people with big imaginations are the ones not just living it, they are creating it.

3. An open mind. Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don’t; everyone can teach you something new. The purpose of keeping an open mind isn't just to change your mind, it’s to expand your mind to understand the true potential in each moment of your life.

4. The commitment to fail forward. Failing is as certain as sunsets and detours. So why exert energy avoiding the unavoidable? Embrace it. Get real comfortable with that uneasy feeling of going against the grain and trying something new. Doing so will always take you to places you never thought you could go.

5. Using encouraging words. Words are powerful. They can create or they can destroy. The simple words you choose, especially when you speak to yourself or about yourself, can offer encouragement and positive thoughts, or they can send you further into despair.
Choose your words wisely.

6. A ‘glass’ filled with the right things. It’s not just whether your glass is half-empty or half-full that matters. It's what you’re filling your glass with. Be sure to fill it with those things that satisfy your soul: good friends and family to love, passions to pursue, dreams to fulfill, and charity for others. 

7. Enjoying what you have. Don't spoil what you have by desiring what you have not. Enjoy your blessings right now. Remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for. Celebrate this. Work on being so appreciative and happy that when others look at you, they become a little happier too.

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8. Lifelong learning. You are simply the product of what you know, so develop a passion for acquiring knowledge. It begins in the heart and home. Read for pleasure, ask questions, analyse, and exploit your curiosities. In other words, learn to actually love the act of learning.

9. Hope. Remember, it’s always darkest just before the dawn. Your troubles may be too dense and dark right now for you to see the light, that doesn't mean there isn't a strong spirit within them, or a beautiful sunrise just beyond the horizon. 

10. Spirituality. Faith elevates your view of the universe, your world, and your life. You are also made of heart, soul, and will. And decisions in your life should be based on more than just what everyone else is doing on the outside. 

11. Stability and love at home. A stable home becomes the foundation on which you build the rest of your success. Subconsciously we all need to know we have a family core who we can trust, and who is going to be there for us through thick and thin.  

12. A positive temper. Take a slow, deep breath, and remind yourself of how much more effective you can be by maintaining a positive approach. Take note of your anger, let it go, redirect your focus on being your best self, and you’ll surely emerge with a smile. 

13. A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles – something life is filled with. So laugh as often as you can with those around you, for your sake and theirs. 

14. Doing the best you are capable of. Don’t complain about something you can actually do something about. Take action. Do the best that you’re capable of. Those who get the most from life are those who give the most. Find something you’re passionate about, and keep  interested in it and focused on it. 

15. Being the change you want to see. Happiness, freedom, and peace of mind are always attained by giving them without expectation. Happiness becomes yours when you live it. Everything you need you are already capable of being. So smile from the heart and fulfill the destiny that is yours.

{Source: Marc and Angel}

& 

bellaMUMMA

Why So Serious?

"Life isn't as serious as the mind makes it to be."

-{e}ckhart {t}olle

Reblog: The A to Z of Life Lessons

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A: authenticity - be real, be yourself, speak your truth.

B: beauty - is everywhere, we need to open our hearts and our minds to find it!

C: compassion - take the time to care for others, ask how someone is and listen.

D: daring - be brave, take risks and have adventures!

E: extraordinary - think outside of the ordinary, go above and beyond mediocre!

F: funny - be funny, see the funny, laugh at yourself, don't take things too seriously.

G: generosity - be generous with your time, your love and your abilities.

H: happy - keep it simple, tune into what gives you butterflies and you will know happy.

I: intuition - listen closely, sit in silence, don't talk too much and you will truly hear.

J: joy - feel the joy in each and every moment, joy is in everyone, learn to release it.

K: kindness - the simple act of kindness has the power to change lives.

L: love - use the word often, you cannot have too much love, the more the merrier!

M: memories - our most precious gift from one generation to another, share them often.

N: nice - be nice, always, expect nothing in return, feel the inner and outer glow.

O: organised - it really does make life easier, make some lists and 

break goals down into pieces.

P: passion - discover your passion and follow it, don't do anything without your passion.

Q: quiet - meditate, remove yourself from the noise of life for at least a few minutes a day.

R: reflect - don't dwell in the past, simply reflect with an open mind and be gentle on yourself.

S: self care - do at least one thing a day that nurtures YOU.

T: thoughtful - consider others and what you can do to make them feel loved.

U: unique - look for the thing or the person who stands out from the trend.

V: vivid - life is filled with color, and color improves our mood, live in full color!

W: wonder - always look at life through the eyes of a child, see everything as a miracle.

X: xtra - develop a career that is true to your passion and always do that little 

bit xtra every day.

Y: youthful - the feeling of youthfulness need never fade, hold it tightly in your heart and never let go.

Z: zany - be a little silly, don't be afraid to be different.

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The Best Way To Run Into Traffic

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"It does not count if you believe in yourself when it's easy to believe in yourself. It does not count if you believe the world can be a better place when the future looks bright. It does not count if you think you're going to make it when the finish line is right in front of you. 

It counts when it is hard to believe in yourself, when it looks like the world is going to end and you've still got a long way to go. 

That's when in counts. That's when it matters the most."

-pleasefindthis

Long Read: Train Station

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She was instinctively drawn to the spontaneity of her desires and very much  a stranger to the notion of conformity. Propelled by the longing for a mid-afternoon adventure, she threw on her favorite leather jacket, wrapped her silk scarf around her neck, and found herself skipping down the stairs to the nearest train station. After spending the morning within the midst of Jung and Freud she desperately needed a Yuengling.

The Black Keys echoed in her earphones as she met her stride on the cool concrete. Her insatiable avidity to discover, to travel, left marks upon the same pathway many times before. It was a cool November afternoon and the brisk air pierced her porcelain cheeks. Her thick black hair fell upon her shoulders twisted in loose braid. Those who passed her on her journey often stopped to stare, smiling politely revealing their appreciation.

He had seen her leave her apartment around the same time every afternoon. The gravitation to meet her drove him to follow her. He could not explain his overflowing eagerness to wrap his hands within her hair, to taste the sweetness of her skin. He was not threatened by her beauty, but drawn to it as if he was destined to toss her upon a wall, to make love to her.

Her high heels struck the concrete with force. She was a tantalizing creature, refreshingly aware of her sexuality. He quickened his pace, throwing aside his cigarette. A thick cloud of smoke left his mouth, filtrating the air with the aroma of tobacco. He assessed that the station was about another block away and searched his pockets for a handful of quarters. Unsure of the impending destination, he had decided to pull a few more from the jar on his counter.

“Just one”, she said. Her voice, my god, could serenade a cobra. The accentuation of her words set him into a frenzy, wildly amiss a fantasy. He imagined her cries of pleasure resonating within his ears, the warmth of her breath upon his neck. “Just one for me too”, he managed to summon. At the sound of his voice, she turned around, smiled, and headed for the train.

She opted for a window seat, a row after the emergency exit. She sat elegantly crossing her legs, fetching a pair of black rimmed glasses and a copy of Baudelaire from her bag. Again, she met his gaze. He appeared to be in his late twenties. Thin lines around his hazel eyes revealed experience, perhaps a certain ounce of pain. He was undeniably attractive, strong, masculine.

Little distance separated the strangers; a mere three feet and a candy wrapper, if technicality was to be considered. Yet, neither of them spoke. For the duration of her trip however, she periodically met his eyes exchanging silent subtleties. He was captivating and she found herself tempted to wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him.

Bright lights signaled her stop. Normally, she would gather her book and leave, but her thirst for the stranger before her, prompted her to grab his hand. She signaled him to follow her.  He obliged, anticipation burning throughout his veins. Within moments, she reared the corner of the station and led him to the Hilton. A crisp hundred dollar bill fell from her wallet on the receptionist’s desk. “One bed will be fine,” she whispered as she smoothed the falling pieces of her hair from her delicate face. “Here you go miss, have a nice stay.”

His palms were sweaty, and he could feel his heart beating faster and faster as she led him to the elevator. Once the doors closed he lost control. His hands moved fervently, pulling her against him, his tongue meeting hers. She sighed heavily, meeting his fervor; intoxicated by his forwardness. Ding. 

They landed upon the Fifth Floor, Room 222. Struggling to maintain her composure, she slid the key revealing a welcoming green light. The sense of urgency prevailed as they walked through the door. In one swift motion he had her long legs wrapped around him, and her back to the wall.

-KristinaC

Hey You: Stop Complicating Your Life

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* Start communicating clearly. Don’t try to read other people’s minds, and don’t make other people try to read yours. Most problems, big and small, within a family, friendship, or business relationship, can start with bad communication.

* Stop wasting time and money trying to acquire more of everything. Start focusing on quality. Live a comfortable life, not a wasteful one. Too many people buy things they don’t need with money they don’t have to impress people they don’t know. Do not spend to impress others and manage your money wisely so your money does not manage you.

* Stop spending time with negative people. Surround yourself with people who reflect the person you want to be. Choose friends who you admire, and who love and respect you – people who make your day a little brighter simply by being in it. Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.

* Stop trying to change people.  Start accepting people just the way they are. In most cases it’s impossible to change them anyway, and it’s rude to try. So save yourself the stress. Instead of trying to change others, lead by example.

{Source}

Beauty & Mastectomy

To you, she may appear confident as she walks through the grocery store or makes her family dinner every evening. She may smile and laugh with her girlfriends, perhaps even accompany them to Pilates. But do you know she is carrying a burden? Do you know that she may or may not be diagnosed with breast cancer?
The statistics are staggering. According to the American Cancer Society, the chance of a woman having invasive breast cancer sometime in her life is 1 in 8. The chance of dying from breast cancer is 1 in 36. Alarmingly, 232,340 cases of invasive breast cancer will be diagnosed this year alone. While again, she may appear to be brave, to be able to presume her responsibilities of being a mother, a daughter, a sister, a best friend, or even your favorite actress on the big screen, the physical and psychological effects of breast cancer remain.

Recently, Angelina Jolie, most notably recognized for her work as an actress, published an article in the New York Times highlighting her decision to get a preventative double mastectomy. Her doctors estimated that the actress had a 87 percent risk of developing breast cancer and a 50% chance of developing ovarian cancer. Upon discovering this reality, the proactive actress underwent three months of procedures, staring with a procedure known as "nipple delay". This particular procedure, she writes "rules out disease in the breast ducts behind the nipple and draws extra blood flow to the area." Two weeks later Jolie had the major surgery where the breast tissue was removed and temporary fillers were put into place. Nine weeks later, Jolie completed the final surgery with the reconstruction of the breasts with an implant. Amazingly, she concluded that the reconstructive aspect of the surgery did not make her feel any less of a woman. "I feel empowered that I made a strong choice that in no way diminishes my femininity."

While Jolie's confidence and bravery is most certainly something to be admired, not all women walk away form the procedure with such confidence. In fact, many women walk away from the procedure feeling unfeminine and have a difficult time accepting their new bodies. Many years ago my mother experienced this first hand. "Will I ever be beautiful again," was all my mother's best friend managed to whisper as stood naked. The mastectomy, in her opinion, had robbed her of identity; the curves that made her beautifully feminine. Silently, my mother wept for her best friend; a woman who had once tackled life so vivaciously. Her beauty, from what I recall from old photographs, was astounding regardless if she had breasts or not. 

Angelina, in my opinion is truly an inspiration to women. Although she is undoubtedly a symbol of modern femininity, she found the courage to get the surgery. For the most part, women are bombarded by images of sexuality and beauty. We are programmed to believe that we should emulate the models and the celebrities in  our favorite fashion magazines. Sometimes we even feel like we can't compete. It is undeniably refreshing to see such a symbol of beauty describing her experience without the pink ribbons, the 5K races, or the "Save The TaTas t-shirts. 

She was real. She described one part of her surgery as a "scene from a science fiction movie." 

She didn't mask the side effects. 

She had bruises. She has scars. But she is still a woman. 

6 Ways to Live a Life of Passion and Adventure

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"I've come to believe that in everyone's life, there's one undeniable moment of change, a set of circumstances that suddenly alters everything." 

-Nicholas Sparks, Safe Haven

1. Just do it

2. When faced with sink or swim, choose swim. 

3. Erase expectations from your mind. 

4. Make mistakes as often as possible.

5. Live in a constant state of wonder

6. Stay in touch with those you love. 

4 Ways To Make That Dream a R E A L I T Y

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“May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.” 
― Neil Gaiman

1. Believe that it’s possible.

So often we think of dreams as things most people don’t get to do—luxuries reserved for people who are privileged, wealthy, or well connected.

It’s true that some people have more advantages than others. What takes one person five years of planning and saving may require another to do little more than sell a stock and make a call.

It’s also true that the second person may have worked incredibly hard for said stock. The point is: We’re all starting from different places, for different reasons, with different levels of work required to get from A to B.

If your dream is something you’re physically incapable of doing, it may be improbable (but not impossible—we’ve come a long way with technology!) And there’s no denying that certain dreams are more difficult to achieve than others.

But most of the things we dream about are things we could do if we were willing to work toward it, align our choices to support it, and stay flexible in terms of fulfilling it.

You don’t need to believe it will be easy, or it will happen quickly, or it will look exactly like you visualized it. You just need to believe in the possibility, which really means you need to believe in yourself.

2. Take tiny steps to work toward it.

Working toward it entails aligning with the right people, disregarding discouragement from people who don’t support your growth, and taking tiny steps each day to move toward your vision.

“The right people” are those who help you, support you, encourage you, believe in you, and guide you on your way to this dream. It may include people who’ve done what you want to do, people who also want to do it, and even people who just plain find it cool.

Share your enthusiasm and progress with them. They’ll keep you excited and help you stick to your plan.

As for those people who don’t support your growth, there will be many of them, and they most likely won’t be malicious. They’ll be well-meaning people who aren't able to do step one for themselves, and, therefore, think they’re doing you a favor by discouraging you. Politely decline that favor.

Their words may seem to keep you down, but it’s how you internalize them that holds you back.

And as for taking consistent steps, they really can be tiny. It may not seem like much to make a call, bookmark a site, or send an email, but the little things add up over time—and because they’re easily doable, each one may inspire you to do more.

3. Make choices that support it.

Much of our experience stems from our choices. Not all of it; there are some things that we can’t control.

This isn't a suggestion that if we make all the “right” choices, everything will line up and magically work out. It’s just that we have more power than we often realize—and our power lies in our choices.

Whatever your dream, the first choice is to prioritize it. As you’re able, dedicate time to it, money to it, attention to it, love to it. Give what you can, as you can, and back that giving with belief, passion, and enthusiasm.

The other side of this coin is realizing which choices don’t support your dream—when you’re doing too much or pursuing other dreams that conflict, for example.

4. Stay flexible about how you’ll fulfill it.

It’s tempting to be rigid about a dream—when it needs to happen, how it needs to happen, and who it needs to include. But sometimes when we’re too busy clinging to a specific vision, we miss an opportunity to experience it in different shades.

This isn't meant to discourage you from reaching for the stars. It’s just a reminder that there are a lot more of them than you may realize, some far closer than others.

Being a singer may include a jazz club, not a fan-packed stadium. Writing a book may entail self-publishing, not a six-figure advance. And traveling may include teaching abroad or a string of budget bed-and-breakfasts—

They may not be the ultimate dream, but they are, in fact, reflections of it.

And in that moment when you’re doing something inspired, passionate, and in line with your deepest intentions, you’ll feel two things that you may not have realized weren't exclusive to one specific vision:

You’ll feel alive. And proud.

And now, two final thoughts on making dreams come true: know that no dream is better than any other, and stay open to the possibility that your dream may change.

Source: {TinyBuddha}

10 Ways To Complain Less & Be H A P P I E R!

“Instead of complaining that the rose bush is full of thorns, be happy the thorn bush has roses.” ~Proverb

We all complain. Even if you argue that you are the happiest person in the world, you still complain sometimes.

Here are some tips to stop complaining and ditch the negative thoughts to focus on finding solutions:

{TinyBuddha}

1. Change the way you think.

This is definitely easier said than done. Our brains tend to gravitate toward the negative. Much like the quote above, we are bothered first by the thorns in the rose bush instead of being marveled by the sight of the beautiful roses.

This requires a new practice of being mindful. When you find yourself thinking or saying a negative comment about something or someone, stop and force yourself to say something positive instead. Enlist the help of a cheerful friend to stop you when you complain and help you to see the positive in the situation.

2. Allow yourself to vent every once in a while.

Constantly ignoring your negative thoughts could add up. If you are really going through a rough time, don’t be afraid to share your feelings with a close friend or family member or see a therapist. Don’t feel ashamed if you need to talk through negative feelings.

3. Practice yoga.

Yoga is a great way to exercise, relax, and learn to be mindful. Yoga focuses on breathing, movement, and meditation and helps you to control your mind and body. Our minds often race in a million directions. Yoga can help you calm your racing thoughts and be more positive with your intentions.

4. Train yourself to be less judgmental.

We often complain about others because we think they are not up to our standards. Once you stop judging people without knowing their stories, you will most likely complain less about the things people do.

For example, constantly complaining about the service in a restaurant is not helpful. You don’t know what kind of a day your waiter or waitress has had or what problems are going on behind the scenes. If you put yourself in their shoes for a minute, you may be more kind and relax about the situation.

5. Make a list of things you’re grateful for.

Stopping for a minute and thinking of all the great things and amazing people in your life will probably put any silly complaints you had to rest.

6. Be the change you wish to see in the world.

Next time you’re with your friends, family, or co-workers and engaged in a complaint fest, speak up or quiet down. Depending on the crowd, either speak up to stop the complaining and change the subject to something sunnier or simply be quiet and don’t complain yourself.

7. Accept responsibility.

If something is bothering you, either fix it or accept that nothing can be done right now, so why complain? Complaining is a passive activity. Change that complaining into action to solve the problem or simple accept it and give your mind something else to focus on.

8. Find what makes you happy.

Sometimes this list can be easy, full of hobbies you enjoy. Sometimes it requires deeper introspection. Are you constantly complaining about your job? Maybe it is time to make the hard decision to move on to another job or career. Uncover what your biggest complaints are about and see if you can change the situation to make you happy.

9. Take care of yourself.

Stress and a busy lifestyle can often take over our lives and break down anyone’s positive spirit. Take time out from your life for just you. Make sure you get to see that movie you were dying to watch, take a hot bath, head to your exercise class, get a manicure, play sports, or do whatever relaxes and energizes you. It could just put you in a new frame of mind.

10. Simply ask yourself when you open your mouth: would you rather complain or be happy?

Choose happiness, focusing on the positive, and being kind always! It is your choice and no one else’s.

What is your foolproof way to stop complaining?