All is fair in Love and War?

How often in life do we truly take the path we are destined to take? Why does fear and discovering truth hold us back from the desired outcome of pure, unbridled happiness? I once read a quote that "most people would rather be certain they were miserable than to risk being happy."  With that being said, why does risk play such a devilish hand in this game called life? Why are we always quick to gamble what is not important, but seize to risk what we GENUINELY find important, such as happiness? Happiness in itself, is a form of courage. It takes courage to turn your life upside down; to make the comfortable uncomfortable. It takes courage to stand on your own two feet regardless of the consequences.

7 months ago I moved 1300 miles away in the pursuit of finding myself and a better life. At the time, my heart was filled with great hope and expectation. My eyes seemingly glistened with possibility rendering me blissfully unaware of reality. I was in love. Moving across the country with nothing but a car full of things, seemed logical. But love has the power to do those things. Love can leave you enticed by the alluring quality of adventure and the search for the "happily ever after." It seeks no demise as you float lovingly to cloud nine unprotected by what could ACTUALLY happen. Promises are made with the expectation that hearts will not be broken. Unfortunately, reality eventually sets in. And just as a storm can wreck havoc on a beautiful day, reality can wreck havoc on love.

To be honest, I can't pin point the exact time and date that I awoke unhappy. In theory, it was probably a million little things wrapped into ONE BIG thing. Stubbornness, I have to admit, is not one of my finer qualities and I have this wonderful ability to bottle every minuscule feeling or emotion up until it boils to the point of combustion. When I burst, there is no telling who will remain a casualty, or JUST slightly injured. I guess, that one heart that I promised not to break, was KIA. 

They say all is fair in love and war. But what if the battle lies in love? Do the same rules apply? Are the actions you take "fair"? Like war, someone will lose and someone will win. The process, however, takes on a variety of outcomes. When happiness is the ultimate goal, is it fair to be completely and utterly selfish? Can you break free and FIGHT for what you want even if the other person sustains the wounds of a broken heart?  And is it possible for both participating parties to come out alive?

For weeks, I fought. I laid awake restlessly, thoroughly divulged in the battle of my own wits. Like war, my battle with love needed tactic. I needed to evaluate my options and go forth strategically despite my irreparable fear. Fear, for many people, can be paralyzing. It is in the unknown, that we squander and fall victim to doubt. But at that precise moment, being held victim to doubt and fear was something I refused to do.

 My world turned upside down. Since I have never been a stranger to adversity, I embraced the tears, lack of appetite, and a checking account balance that was less than desirable. It was then that I realized, that to have everything (including happiness), you must endure having nothing. It is in despair we grow, build character, and become better individuals. With that being said, I have come to believe that with age comes a certain sense of self-awareness and maturity. Although words of my mother echo so quietly in my mind, I can't help but hear my own. Happiness is no longer that of an aspiration but of a lifestyle. I have every reason to be happy, every reason to live the life I aspire to live.

"A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery while on a detour." -Author Unknown.