Ladies & Gentlemen, This Is Writing...

I came across this poem late yesterday afternoon. Without question, it is the most beautiful pieces of writing I have ever read. Each time I read it, I become more moved by its sentiment and find myself dancing in circles. Ladies and gentlemen, this is what writing is about. 

“

Screw falling in love.

My heart itself is already in tangles. A web of nonsense
and a drawerful of necklace chains that I will never
have the patience to separate. I am sounds mixed with
different mediums of light. Six thousand eight hundred
dialects of flesh that I don’t have enough time to
translate into words. This dictionary of skin is unreadable and
Latin is dead because of what we never had the balls to
tell each other.

I am swearing off of love because everything inside of me
is oil and vinegar and I no longer believe that it’s morally correct
to fall in love with the intent of both destroying and rebuilding 
another human being. I am a forest fire and an ocean, and
my favorite color is the same as the color that hurts me the most.

I don’t want your sentimentality. Quit looking at me intending
to melt me. We all know it’s working. We all know what this heart
is capable of unfolding.

I am not as strong as my words pretend to be. Not 
as quiet as these caesuras promise. This heart is a patchwork quilt of people
that leave different shades of blue inside of me.

The drowning. Your skies. 
The outline of a blue jay on a porcelain plate.

For now, I am closing off these bones for someone who will know
how to trace me without me ever telling them what I look like naked.

I no longer want to seduce the words out of people just to see
if I can. The love that I’m looking for falls out of the realm of your lips
and my lips and our lips doing a dance that involves bodies and more skin
and your hair touching mine, gently, like two winds
colliding.

Screw falling in love.

It’s too much to handle when
I’m already having difficulties breathing and keeping track of my
heartbeats and making sure that my limbs are doing what
they need to be doing.

But,
men are so beautiful.

But this heart is so
fragile.

I am every vulnerability that the thesaurus has to
offer me and in a certain light it’s impossible for me not to pull you
towards me with the intent of kissing the very life
out of you.

What I’m trying to say is that you are not allowed in.
What I’m trying to say is that all I want is to open myself up and have you
rearrange me, untangle the gold chains of my heart, love me for
every shade of blue that I have hidden in the silent spaces
between parentheses.

I have sworn off of falling in love,

but I know that in the morning, 
outside, in the pale frost of February,

all I’ll want is to hold another person’s hand, warm and
gloved, in their coat’s pocket.

”

(Shinji Moon, I Don't Want to be Loved. I Just Want to be Untangled. 

Valentines Day Inspiration: 5 Romantic Movie Quotes

“So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna be really hard. We’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What’s it look like? If it’s with him, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I thought that’s what you really wanted. But don’t you take the easy way out.”

—Noah (Ryan Gosling) to Allie (Rachel McAdams)

The Notebook

“I love you. You’re my only reason to stay alive… if that’s what I am.”

—Edward (Robert Pattinson) to Bella (Kristen Stewart)

Twilight

“Me? I’m scared of everything. I’m scared of what I saw, I’m scared of what I did, of who I am, and most of all I’m scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I’m with you.”

—Baby (Jennifer Grey) to Johnny (Patrick Swayze).

Dirty Dancing

“…I might be the only one who appreciates how amazing you are in every single thing that you do, and … I watch them, wondering how they can watch you bring their food, and clear their tables and never get that they just met the greatest woman alive. And the fact that I get it makes me feel good, about me.”

—Melvin (Jack Nicholson) to Carol (Helen Hunt).

As Good As It Gets

“But for now, let me say — without hope or agenda, just because it’s Christmas and at Christmas you tell the truth — to me, you are perfect. And my wasted heart will love you. Until you look like this [picture of a mummy]. Merry Christmas.”

—Mark (Andrew Lincoln) to Juliet (Keira Knightley)

Love Actually

If The End Is Really Near

According to the Mayan Calendar, we are doomed on December 21, 2012. 

If that's the case, I don't think I am prepared. I am the type of girl who laughs when the boyfriend talks about Zombie Apocalypse survival methods. I've yet to learn how to shoot a gun, and I wouldn't know the first thing about surviving on my own. In fact, I'm kinda kicking myself in the ass for not becoming a Dooms Day Prep Maniac. To be honest, I don't think I have enough food in my fridge to last me until next week...

Why?

I'm a Capricorn, it's in my nature to procrastinate. In fact, I'm like Tom Brady, I play my best during the last  2 minutes of the fourth quarter. With that being said, you can expect at approximately 11:58 on December 20th, that I will turn into a combination of Rambo and Lara Croft in 2.2 seconds. Sh!t will get done. And I will survive. 

All joking aside, talk of the "end" has put me in a rather reflective state. If the "end" is indeed near, I have to wonder, have I lived my life to its full potential? I mean there are so many things I've yet to do--like get married or have children; the generic to-do's in life.

More importantly, I've yet to publish my first book or solve a Rubik's Cube. I still don't understand the male psyche, quantum physics, or why the sky is blue. I haven't kissed the love of my life under the Northern Stars or had brunch overlooking the Amalfi Coast in Italy.

If the Mayans are correct, I have quite the agenda in the next upcoming months.
Realistically speaking, I know that I can't do it all. So I am taking this time to be thankful for what I HAVE done. I've packed a lot of living in 26 years and I can honestly say that I've been blessed.

In fact, 
I've been fortunate enough to: 

Fall in love
More than once. Sometime all at once.
I've experienced the nervous butterflies, the first kisses, the midnight conversations. I've loved completely,  recklessly, and daringly. I will forever wear my heart on my sleeve and believe in the happy endings.
I will never forget what my heart taught me or what their heart taught me when I was in love.

Have my heart broken
It's been torn into pieces and ripped apart at the seams.
It is scarred, imperfect, and stronger than hell.

Lose someone I love
They taught me the importance of life, how quickly it fades, and the value of a memory.

Be kissed by the sun
The act in itself, is the ultimate form of simplicity--beautiful simplicity.

Fly in a plane
In the words of Felix Baumgartner, "Sometimes you have to go up really high to understand how small you are."

Experience true friendship
The few that I hold dear to my heart? They are my soul mates. No amount of words can describe that.

Fail
Again, more than once. Sometimes all at once.
Failure has taught me the importance of perseverance.

Push my body to the limits

Watch the sun set & rise 

Pick up everything & leave
My greatest adventure to date...I am so thankful.

&& much, much more.

Happy Hour Readers: What have you been fortunate enough to experience in your life?

Love: Can You Explain It?

“Love doesn't give you very many choices. When you love someone, you just want to be with them. If they break your heart, you will still love them. Because hearts are easy to break, and though love is tender and sometimes fragile, love isn't. 

Love sort of envelops you. It covers you like a giant shadow, then pulls you in like a blanket. You are so warm. The feeling surrounds you, and no matter how you feel, it is always there. You can't escape it. But you wouldn't want to. You are so, so safe. You can't remember the last time you were this happy. Were you ever? This happy? 

Every second you are apart feels like hours. Sometimes, right before you fall asleep, you miss them so much it hurts. You ache for them. Their warmth. Their touch. Their smell. You need them. When you can't sleep you wish and wish and wish that they would wake up and talk to you. When you dream of them, you wake up smiling. When pain stabs into you, you reach out for them. You cry to them, begging them to hold you and make it all go away, make everything go away. 

Love addicts you to its feeling. You never, ever want to lose that feeling. Sometimes the fear of losing love drives people to do crazy things. Like buy a plane ticket. Make a phone call. Run out of a class. Cry. Write. Laugh.

Because when you love someone, you really love them. You give them your whole heart. You trust them. You never want to be away from them. Sometimes, you don't even need their words. You just need them there.

Love is such an amazing thing, and too many people take it for granted. If you're in love, don't let it go. Don't you dare let it go.” 

― Alysha Speer

Kiss & Tell?

Like most writers, I’d like to tell you that the idea for this book, was a moment of clarity, where the world finally made sense. Since a young girl I believed writers had miraculous minds, where ideas poured like cascading water into a beautiful river of prose. Mine, however, came at exactly 6:16pm May 21, 2010 in the comfort of my shower. I, too, would like to digress at this point that many of my finer thoughts and euphoniums take place in my shower. Maybe it’s because I’m naked. Free of clothing, free of restriction, washing away the sins of the day. Who knows.

Anyways, my idea. I’d  like to say it was glamorous, but quite frankly, it came as I took a long pull of a $1.69 plastic bottle of Mikes Hard Lemonade, I had purchased ten minutes before at a local drug store. What? Yes, I am 24 and still drinking in the shower. Some may shake their heads as they read this, but I know, there are the select few of you out there who are mentally giving me a high five. And as much as I hate to admit this, I did in fact immaturely laugh at the number 69. What? You know you like it too. Fine, I will get to the point.

My idea stemmed from a conversation I had earlier that day, on my way to job number two. And as I reflected on one particular comment I had sent via text to my 30 year-old, one hell of a smoking’ hot nurse best friend, I realized that without kissing and telling there would be no fun in dating. I’m sure you are wondering what I said to her. Huh?

Well, here it is. Wait, but before I do, I have to let you know one thing. He will remain nameless, in respect to his privacy. I would not want to ruin his day or anything like that. But here it goes. “I don’t care. I mean, he idolizes Brett Michaels. Cute. But not the father of my children.” And with that I realized that women probably all over the world have similar stories of hook-ups, break-ups, hot one-night stands, crazy sex escapades JUST DYING to get out.  So here, it is ladies, a book of kissing and telling, with no remorse. Giving you the dirty, in the most awkward of situations. The heat, in the most passionate of moments. And of course falling in love even after the passion fades between the sheets.

As for, Mr. I-Will-Remain- Nameless, I can’t help but deny the surge of excitement I get when I hear “Every Rose Has It’s Thorn”. Oh. Brett Michaels...

P.S., as I write this last sentence I have moved on to a much classier glass of Pinot Gringo and my legs are shaved in preparation for a night of “research.”