Are you there Vodka?

 {There are days where you need a quick pick me up; a glass of wine, a chocolate chip cookie, possibly both. But since I am work, and drinking on the job may be frowned upon, I decided to look up some quotes from Chelsea Handler the author of: "Are you there Vodka? It's me Chelsea" and "My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One Night Stands". Enjoy!}

 "Are you there vodka? It's me, Chelsea. Please get me out of jail and I promise I will never drink again. Drink and drive. I will never drink and drive again. I may even start my own group fashioned after MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, but I'll call it AWLTDASH, Alcoholics Who Like to Drink and Stay Home." 

"I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around." 

"I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people." 

"You know you're a hot mess when the only person buying you drinks all night is yourself."

"There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers."