Men vs. Women

I'd like to start by saying that I am not a feminist. My idea of feminism is very much like Ani DiFranco; "every woman has the right to do what ever she needs to do." Basically in simplified terms, self-determination. Now this alone can be VERY subjective. Self determination for many women is highly individualistic. But before I get too ahead of myself, I will start from the beginning.

It started simple enough, just a mere text between a girl and one of her best guy friends. We had got to talking about men and women. Now, this alone, can be a very VOLATILE conversation. Men and women have been existing on THIS planet for many years now, but clearly we are from two very different planets. Hence popular novels such as "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus." Anyways, I reached out to him because I got to thinking about the beginning stages of a relationship. You know that wonderful stage where men are willing to do just about anything to win your undying affection through random cute texts, love notes, and surprise kisses? Well, I was telling him how I missed that stage. Unfortunately, however, this stage is inevitable. The thrill of the chase simply fades when couples get comfortable. His response however, surprised me. He said "It is funny how girls notice things like that. There isn't one guy in the world that could keep us doing that stuff. It's just too much."

Playing devils advocate I replied: "True. But how come women are expected to?" Which, in my opinion, is a fair question to ask. How much is too much for our men?

Society, as a whole, for decades has told us that we have to: "Clean house. Make dinner. Do this. Take care of this." And while the cute gestures seemingly fade from our men, we as women, are still expected to uphold a certain standard. We are expected to remain physically,emotionally, and sexually desirable. I won't get into much detail, but there is a reason why Victoria Secret is still VERY much in business as well as the adult film industry. Men actually believe that we are supposed to look and uh hem, perform like that! ALL while, cooking, cleaning, and fetching beers from the fridge. And if we fail to do the above stated, we can easily be replaced with a much younger, prettier, and more "adventurous" version.

At this point in the conversation, I was happy to hear that he agreed with me. In fact, his next response was: "You guys are crazy for what we put you through." AMEN BROTHER. Now, I would like to say at this point, I know that not all men are like this. There are plenty of men, including my own, who sincerely appreciate their women. With that being said, my beef is with society. Why, at times are we forced to feel mediocre if we aren't "perfect"?

Expectations. Why do they differ between the sexes? Men, were once expected to be the bread winners, but now, women are becoming the financial leaders tackling the task of being a mother and a wife. Again, why is there such a paramount difference in expectations? And is it fair to EXPECT from our men, all the cute, lovey-dovey stuff, as a sign of appreciation for all that we willingly do?

{Happy Hour Readers: What are your thoughts?}