21 Cliches

As I was cleaning my room today, I came across an article that I had torn out of a magazine and decided to share it with my Happy Hour Readers. I love the honesty, and the sarcastic humor!

"Trite & True": 21 Cliches that say what they mean, and mean what they say.

By: Lisa Jones, Woman's Health Magazine

{1} Just be yourself.

{2} If "yourself" is not a morning person, wake up and DRINK the coffee. Everything else can f-ing wait. 

{3} This too shall pass. Hangovers, heartache, blackheads, and bad haircuts-time heals all. Except for a UTI. That misery fest demands antibiotics, pronto.

{4} When in doubt, throw it out. Apply this first rule of fridge cleanup to anything you're not sure you need anymore-the little black dress that fits a much littler you, crushed tampons in purse pockets, the HOT-but-BORING boyfriend.

{5} Life's a bitch. But aren't we all sometimes?

{6} Maybe she got promoted before you or looks better in skinny jeans. BUT maybe you have more friends or bigger boobs. So why compare? Another woman's success is not a measure of your failure.

{7} Separate the men from the boys. Hint: The men are the ones who make you orgasm and pancakes.

{8} Open your heart. The scary stuff that makes you vulnerable is the good stuff.

{9} If the shoe fits, BUY it. When it comes to a sale in the footwear department, she who hesitates is lost.

 

{10} Make out like a bandit. LIFE IS TOO SHORT to go unsexed.

{11} You'll know it (the right job, man for you) when you see it...and who says you have to explain it to others who don't?

{12} A leopard can't change it's spot. Nor can an ex-love unbreak your heart when you give him a second chance. Or a third. Or a fourth.

{13} Absence makes the heart grow founder-and the libido grow stronger.

{14} Love what you do and DO who you love. Even if he never takes out the recycling.

{15} Show me the money. More often than not, you have to ask for it. Subtlety doesn't pay the rent- or earn your bosses respect.

{16} Fake it till you make it. Hey it worked for George W.

{17} Save the drama for your mama. Complaining, whining, making excuses-all unattractive and boring to anyone who is not you. Nobody said it would be easy.

{18} Just do it. Those lifetime goals don't just happen. It's all about the baby steps, baby.

{19} You are what you eat. Natures reminder: asparagus pee.

{20} Everything in moderation. And when you forget that- Liquor before beer, you're in the clear.

AND FINALLY....

{21} Love many, trust few, but ALWAYS paddle your own canoe. Unless, of course you are up a creek without a paddle. In which case, you are totally screwed.  

{source for pics pinterest & wehearit}