Case of the Ex

Ex-flings.

Ex-boyfriends. 

Ex-fiances.

What do all these men have in common?  

Well the answer is simple. These men have the super ability known as "I know you are happy-itis-and-I-want-to-throw-you-a-curve-ball"

How do you diagnose? 

(Well, if your ex's have done any of the following they HAVE the disease and should the seek attention of a trained professional promptly.)

1.  The cute text you get from him when you are on a date with the rebound.

How did he find out you were "interested" in dating someone new?! WHO KNOWS?! But he did, so despite your better efforts to move on he sends a text to the tune of: "I miss you". Now, even though you would like to boil in rage, the three words kinda make you melt. Your mind begins to wander...What if? What if he misses me? Stop. He does not miss you. He misses how he used to be the center of your attention.

2. The "bump into", "You look great":

Was it accidental or planned? Probably planned. Thanks to Facebook and your best girl friends, you could easily stalk any man on the planet. With that being said, a "girls night out" could easily turn into an evening of ulterior motives. Oh come on, you know you have secretly planning this evening for months now. The late night sessions at the gym, the carrots and celery stashed in your fridge, that amazingly sexy top you shouldn't have bought? Ya, that's all for Mr. Ex. You want his jaw to drop; that "I should have never dumped you" drunken slur at 2am (probably tangled within his sheets). Ah, you are not fooling me ladies, we do this to ourselves. Because in the morning, he has that classic speech (after you have spent the entire evening awake plotting your wedding) "I'm not ready to get back into a serious relationship. I think we still need time and space." Also known as: "I had too much to drink, you looked hot, was wondering if you were still good in bed".

3. You and his new girlfriend bump into each other in the bathroom at the bar.
This can not get anymore awkward. How do you know she is the new GF? Yep, you guessed it: Facebook, your friends, and probably some sneaky texts he sent to you behind her back. While I am on the subject, why do men continue to send you (the ex-girlfriend) texts when he is "happily" dating someone new? Another mystery; another blog post. Anyways, you ladies know what I am talking about. You are squatting in the stall with two of your best friends complaining about her (of course) and as you exit the stall she's applying lip gloss staring at you.

Uh, Plan B? Well Plan B is dependent on two things....
1. How much have you had to drink?
and
2. How much has SHE had to drink?

The rest is history...but you can imagine it's not pretty.

4. The encounter with the ex and his um... new WIFE? 

When the hell did that happen? Must I reiterate? How the hell COULD that happen? When did he stop being such a d-bag?! I kid, I kid. But seriously, has there been some sort of cosmic change that altered the state of commitment-phobe men?! When did they all start getting down on one knee? And where the hell were we!?

Ladies, this may be a difficult spoon to swallow, but maybe we should be honest with ourselves...

We were not the "one". 

Yes, we were not the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. BUT SHE IS. (hopefully--we have an overwhelmingly alarming divorce rate that we must do something about...) 

It's hard to believe ladies, but things between your ex didn't work out for a reason. He married her because he was giving you the opportunity to marry the right one. He was simply doing you a favor. And I know it kinda "bleeps" with your mind, but think on the bright side, happiness may already be in your heart or lurking around the corner. Don't look back when your future is in front of you. 

Love is difficult and even when you find yourself madly in love with someone else, a part of you will always wander down memory lane. But don't let it get to you, if it was easy it would not be exciting.

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