Cupid's Arrows?

It's Friday evening and you nervously watch as he makes his way through a crowd of people to get to you. The two of you have been exchanging eye contact throughout the evening, and to your surprise, you have planned the honeymoon, and decided that three children would do. Perhaps a home in the Hampton's, you ponder as he places his hand on the lower back of an attractive brunette. "Excuse me Miss", he says with a smile and a quick nod of the head. You smile in approval as you realize that he is quite the gentleman.

Nervous anticipation floods your body, as he makes his way to you. Quickly, you adjust your cleavage, take a sip of your cocktail, and ask your best friend if you have anything in your teeth. He is now a few yards away and you are bursting with possibility. Could he be Mr. Right? If Cosmopolitan taught you anything, you know that men love confident women, and like any Cosmo girl, you decide to flip your hair, cross your legs, and seductively smile in his direction.

To your surprise, you realize that you are not the object of his desire and dreams of a white picket fence and Christmases in Hawaii disappear as quickly as the rest of your cocktail. Disappointingly, you watch as he puts his hand on a voluptuous blond's leg as he utters, "Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again." Disgusted, you motion to the waitress for another drink, as the blond tilts her head back and laughs. "Really? Did he just give her that line?", You quietly ask your friend. "I believe he did, she whispers as she looks across the bar and meets the eyes of his handsome friend. Shaking your head, you have to laugh. After all, the night is young, and there are plenty of frogs left to kiss until you find prince charming.

Now for some of us girls, this scene is all too familiar. We all have been dismissed by Mr. Right for a somewhat more attractive, seemingly more enhanced blond. And as much as it sucks at that moment, we hold on to the idea that he is still out there. That when he arrives, fireworks will blast off, butterflies will engulf our nervous stomachs, and he will sweep us off our tired feet. Of course he will be tall, dark, and breathtakingly handsome. After all, would we have the fairytale any other way? Truthfully, as I write this, I want to kick my own ass. Ladies, this hardly ever happens and that kind of love doesn't exist. Or does it? With a heart full of hope, I decided to research this concept of "Love at first sight." Now, I want to say that I still remain a skeptic, but after a bit of research, I DO believe that there is a special someone out there for each and everyone of us. We just haven't been pierced by Cupid's arrow....

Historically speaking, the concept of love at first sight is not an uncommon theme. For centuries complete strangers have fallen head over heels in love with each other upon first glance. The Greeks described this phenomenon as a certain madness, or "theia mania" (madness from the gods). Metaphorically, mythologically, and psychologically speaking, the concept of love at first sight derives from a schema involving loves arrows, or love darts from cupid. Now, one cannot simply be hit with cupids arrows. The placement in which someone is hit, is through the eyes. The arrow then travels to the heart where she or he is plagued by overwhelming desire and longing. As one love-sick Greek god put it: "As soon as I had seen her, I was lost. For beauty's wound is sharper than any weapons, and it runs through the eyes down to the soul. It is through the eye that loves wound passes, and now become prey to a host of emotions."

Ah, I recall that love-sick feeling...my first true love. His name? I couldn't tell you. But he was a big ol' Hershey Kiss for Halloween and I was dressed as Cinderella. Now, it may sound a little hypocritical of me, but the 6-year old Cinderella version of me wanted that Hershey kiss to sweep me off my feet. I have yet to forget that adorable face and I can't help but wonder, was it love at first sight?

Although much of what I have digressed about love is centered around myth and a little naked man shooting arrows through people eyes, there is concrete psychological evidence that it COULD exist. I say "could" subjectively, because it takes exactly .13 seconds to determine if you find another person attractive. It takes another 3 minutes to decide if someone is an appropriate match. That's great and all, but in the .13 seconds you look at someone is it LOVE or is it INFATUATION? In my opinion, both men and women can overlook seemingly unattractive qualities such as being selfish, untrustworthy, or the tendency to be vindictive because they are so damn good looking.

 Because I wanted to tap into the male brain, and his perspective on this particular situation, I went to askmen.com. It was there that I came across some interesting information. Low and behold, there are different kinds of men. There are the men that are called "Deep Lovers". These men fall madly in love upon first contact. These are the men that believe that every women is the love of their life and they cannot see past the hourglass, voluptuous chest, and blond hair. The object of their desire may be, pardon my language, a crazy bitch, but in his mind he is still drooling over those lengthy gams. According to the article, "Men often say that they do fall hard within the first moment they see a certain woman, even if she can be annoying like Fran Drescher's laugh." So with that being said, is it love at first sight, or is it lust at first sight?

 Now ladies, I do not want to exclude you from this equation. You and me both know that we are a little crazy when it comes to love. Take for example the scene I described above. My heroine, within moments of making eye contact with a guy was planning the honeymoon and naming the children. Every guy we meet somehow becomes "everything we have been looking for" despite their obvious flaws! Ladies, please do not kid yourself, we are all guilty of this! The start of one of my biggest failed relationships was painted with red flags and warning signs saying "DON'T GO THERE: EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE! I think one even said "I WILL NEVER LOVE YOU THE WAY YOU WANT ME TO, BUT I LOOK GREAT IN FOOTBALL PANTS." I am 100% guilty of falling, completely and utterly in lust. Because of this,I cannot blame you men for losing sight of what is truly behind that beautiful face and beautiful body.

 So where does love fall into this equation? Although it may not happen upon first glance, do you believe true love exists? Love is said to be a volatile feeling. It wrecks havoc on your emotions leaving you on see-saw of up and downs. It can be an utterly confusing yet beautiful feeling that affects everyone it encounters differently. For some of you it may happen suddenly. For others it will take time. But regardless of who you are, it will happen. Hundreds of years ago, Cupid pierced arrows through the eyes of potential lovers to captivate one another's hearts. Today, maybe all it takes is a quick glance into the eyes of that special someone and truly "seeing" them for the first time. Today, maybe all it takes is a moment; a moment where the person before you captivates your heart. 

An Adorable Lil Cupid!