Roses are Red...

I have a serious case of the Mondays.  

Although I am not really proud of this, I have to admit that I backed out of my driveway this morning into a ditch. At first I blamed it upon stupidity and the lack of depth perception I seemingly have when I simply do not give a flying "F". But, the more I thought about it, I came to the conclusion that this traffic mishap was a sign. And as I looked upon the garden of grass and weeds that hung lifelessly from my muffler, I thought to myself, today, is going to be the day where drinking before 5pm may be necessary.

This plan, however, was quickly eradicated due to the fact that I have to be a responsible adult.  And to be completely honest, as I reflect upon responsibility lately, I look admiringly back to my college days where I could sleep in, eat chicken patties, and drink cheap $1 well drinks.

Ah, to be completely free again. 

  

Anyways, back to my case of the Monday's.

Doesn't Monday know that I spent the better half of my weekend with a glass of wine in hand? That my brain functioning is that of none? That I may or may not have knocked a few brain cells out as I fell upon my ass obtaining firewood on our camping trip? Come on Monday, get a clue! I need a day off from society; a day to proudly proclaim my exhaustion free of judgment. 

And because I am feeling rather sarcastic and sassy today, I have a few things to share with you that may help you smile on your case of the Monday's:

hehe

 Today, I am also feeling delightfully immature and this poem makes me giggle uncontrollably. Of course this poem can be re-mixed in a variety of ways. Simply insert inappropriate words. Voila.

PS. Vagina. 

Again, on days like today, when I need to rant, I do not need my smart phone "correcting" my swear words. When I want to say "Shit" please do not change it to "Shut". "Shut" simply does not pack the punch that SHIT does. Nor does "he"ll" when I want to state "What the hell."

Agh, I am already feeling better. :)

HappyHour readers: How do you deal with the case of the "Monday's"?