Although I have always struggled with my weight and body image, I have never truly felt bad about my body...until last night. The reality of a sentence, not only induced tears, but a feeling of defeat. As I laid in bed the image of my body and the words "You can't suck that fat in" haunted me.
You can't suck that fat in...
Probably the worst thing you can tell a girl. In fact I'd rather be called every name in the book than deal with that 3 lettered word. The word alone digs upon salted wounds...
With that being said how can women feel "good" about themselves, when they are continually ridiculed for who they are? What is ideal? What is perfect? And who the hell has the right to decide? And why should I have to change who I am to service this seemingly unattainable ideal?
Why can't it be "OK" to carry a little around the middle? To have cellulite? God forbid...a stretch mark.
On any given day, the thoughts that precede:
Do I look fat in this?
Am I "sucking in" enough?
Is 45 minutes enough exercise?
Am I freakin enough?
And you want to know the WORST part? The person who hurt me was a SHE. How can women support each other when we are our OWN worst enemies? How can we stand up to fight this cultural ideal when we are throwing verbal grenades at each other?
I hate to admit, but as I was browsing my "Thinspiration" websites, I came across a website that was very empowering and I encourage those who struggle with self esteem and body image to check it out.
It is called: My Body Gallery
It is a website designed to allow women to see themselves more clearly. You simply put in your weight, height, pant size, and shirt size, and click search. Once you do this, you arrive at a gallery of "real" women who share your same sizes, height and weight.
Interested in checking it out:
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