Are you looking for a nice way to warm up this cool winter evening?
Winter White Sangria
What you need:
1 bottle of white wine of your choice
1/4 cup of Brandy
1/4 cup of white sugar
4 slices of lemon
4 slices of lime
4 slices of green apples
1 bunch of green grapes (sliced in half)
1 bunch of red grapes (sliced in half)
A handful of red raspberries
What to do...(Almost time to have a glass!)
- Combine white wine, brandy and sugar into a large pitcher over ice.
- Stir the mixture until sugar is dissolved.
- Add in fruit, stir, and enjoy!
They say that a writers best friend is the trashcan. In theory, this particular sentiment reigns the utmost truth. Many pieces of my writing have landed comfortably in the trash can in frustration, anger, or just plain disappointment. Writing is very much an art. When the words don't form the perfect picture you would like to depict, the paper instantly is torn into tiny, minuscule shreds that no human being could possibly ever see.
Like art, writing is very much a representation of self-expression; a lasting impression to be left on the reader. We aim to please; to take you away from the stresses that life eagerly presents itself day to day. For a brief moment we would like to take you along our journey, to inflict emotion and reflection. On a personal level, writing has become my therapy. When words have seemingly rendered me speechless, a piece of paper and a pen paint a landscape of everything I wish I could have said. All my thoughts, feelings, and secrets, have landed upon a blank piece of paper or word document. But more often than not, these pieces of paper find themselves ripped into tiny pieces on the bottom of a trashcan.
Today as I was writing, I began to wonder where all my "trash" disappeared to. Just because it has been thrown away, does it mean that is necessarily gone forever? Mae West, an iconic actress, once said: "Keep a journal, and one day it will keep you." Her words, although few, fell heavily on my mind. Like a message in a bottle, would someone eventually find my journal and read it? What impression would I leave on the reader? Would it keep my memory alive? The thought of writing with reckless abandonment revealing my thoughts, secrets, and desires is extremely enticing. The temptation to write what I really want to write is as desirable as the apple in Adam & Eve. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if all my torn up pieces of paper were pieced together like a puzzle revealing my unfinished thoughts or the things I wanted to say but never did. What would happen? Because the possibilities are endless, I continue to write. Who's to say that one day, my writing may become another person's treasure?
Intention can be a double-edged sword. Intention, according to Merriam Webster, has been defined as what one intends to do or bring about. With that being said, my intentions of writing this blog were to reflect upon some of the more significant moments of my life. Although my intentions were to bring positivity to the multitude of hardships life and love present, they were not perceived in that way. Intention, I am discovering must clearly be stated for both participating audiences. It is in the mind, we wander. We hear and read certain entities and draw upon conclusions without clearly knowing the entire scenario. My intentions, although good, were again, not seen that way. And for that, I sincerely apologize.
We often forget that the things we say and do can greatly affect the people around us. We do things without thinking and more often than not we completely disregard the consequences that will soon follow. Because I wrote what I wrote, I negatively affected one of my readers. That was not my intention. I did not think about what I was doing and my own selfishness came into play when I hit "post". Lesson learned ladies and gentlemen, and I strongly suggest, do not hit "post" until you are completely ready to deal with the consequences. Blogging in many ways, is like life; do not dish out what you are not fully capable of enduring.
With that being said, I would like to digress that I am not filled with painstaking regret for what I did not say years ago. I am on the path I was destined to travel and I am proud of the path I chose. Things happen for reasons and there is a reason why that chapter of that particular story closed. But just because a story may be over, it doesn't mean you can't read it again or reflect upon what made you grow as an individual. My reflections are merely representations of who I was, not who I am today. I would also like to digress, that I am proud I chose this road.
In the last year, I have grown as an individual. At 25 years of age, I am proud of the woman that I am and becoming. At the start of this new year, I was destined to follow one of my dreams. My dream was to write and that is why I started this blog. I never imagined people would read it, let alone comment about it. Writing has become my creative outlet in which my imagination can play. I can genuinely say that I look forward to time on the keyboard and a glass of wine or a beer. I do not wish to stop this, but I do want to do it in a manner in which no one is hurt or sent into a mental tornado of anguish and anxiety. My intention, is to enlighten, to encourage, and to make people smile. A frown will simply not do. And to my one particular reader, I extend a sincere "Sorry".
"In a book in a box in the closet,
In a line in a song I once heard
In a moment on a front porch
In a breath inside a whisper beneath the moon
There it was at the tip of my fingers
There it was at the tip of my tongue
There you were and I had never been that far.
There it was the whole world wrapped inside my arms.
And I let it all slip away."
Rascal Flatts- Words I Couldn't Say
I will never forget the moment he took my hand, and asked me to dance. Although we were engulfed in a dusty, old attic, the subtle romanticism of the moment created a dream-like luster that will forever remain in my mind. The three minutes that we were wrapped in each others arms, swaying to the music that seized to play, were some of the best three minutes of my life.
Although, it has been nearly 5 years since I stood in that attic with him, I can't help but look back with feelings of regret. The bond that he and I shared was unlike any I had ever experienced and even though I knew how I felt about him, I never told him. Time and other factors got in the way of me saying what I truly wanted to say. With that being said, do we truly ever say what we want to say? Or do we bottle it up and hold on to it until it is too late? Is there ever a "right" time to blurt out those three scary little words?
Because I don't necessarily know the answer to this question, I am going to do something brave: I am going to post the love letter I swore he would never read. In doing so, I hope others can muster the courage to let that special someone know how they feel. There's nothing more exhilarating than uttering what you have held captive in your heart. Yes, it is risky. Yes, it may make your stomach fill up with nervous butterflies. But, if there is one thing I have learned about life and love it is this: IT AIN'T EASY SWEETHEART! :) So just do it! We miss 100% of the shots we DON'T take. Don't follow in my footsteps and miss your chance. Although he and I have since moved on in different directions, it's kind of nice to just get it off my chest! So here it goes:
"If I could write you a letter, I'd tell you everything. I'd empty my heart on this very paper. I'd fill you in on my deepest secrets and dreams. I'd let you see the real side of me. If I could write you a letter, I'd tell you how I really feel about you. I'd tell you that I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since I met you. That my heart skips a beat when I see you. That every time you hug me- I don't want you to let go. I would tell you that I compare you to everyone and how they don't measure up. That at night, I dream of you. If I could write you a letter, I'd tell you that our times together I can't seem to forget. I'd tell you that it was all the little things and really...the little things. The way you look at me, the way you would wrap your arms around me when I wasn't looking. I'd tell you that I will never forget that kiss--ever. I'd tell you that I loved the way you always wanted to dance; how your romanticism amazed me. I'd tell you that I love you."
...I am not going to lie, I thought this was going to be a lot easier, but revealing ones emotions leaves you feeling vulnerable. Really vulnerable. But since I started, I have to finish. I just need a glass of wine or two to summon the courage to hit "post". Luckily for me, it's your turn.
So often we are afraid to do or say something because we fear what others may think. Maybe, it is time to stop being so afraid. So please, take the time and share your unopened love letters. I would love to read them. And if you are still a little hesitant, I will leave you with this quote:
"If you were going to die soon and you had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?"
Stephen Levine
It's Friday evening and you nervously watch as he makes his way through a crowd of people to get to you. The two of you have been exchanging eye contact throughout the evening, and to your surprise, you have planned the honeymoon, and decided that three children would do. Perhaps a home in the Hampton's, you ponder as he places his hand on the lower back of an attractive brunette. "Excuse me Miss", he says with a smile and a quick nod of the head. You smile in approval as you realize that he is quite the gentleman.
Nervous anticipation floods your body, as he makes his way to you. Quickly, you adjust your cleavage, take a sip of your cocktail, and ask your best friend if you have anything in your teeth. He is now a few yards away and you are bursting with possibility. Could he be Mr. Right? If Cosmopolitan taught you anything, you know that men love confident women, and like any Cosmo girl, you decide to flip your hair, cross your legs, and seductively smile in his direction.
To your surprise, you realize that you are not the object of his desire and dreams of a white picket fence and Christmases in Hawaii disappear as quickly as the rest of your cocktail. Disappointingly, you watch as he puts his hand on a voluptuous blond's leg as he utters, "Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again." Disgusted, you motion to the waitress for another drink, as the blond tilts her head back and laughs. "Really? Did he just give her that line?", You quietly ask your friend. "I believe he did, she whispers as she looks across the bar and meets the eyes of his handsome friend. Shaking your head, you have to laugh. After all, the night is young, and there are plenty of frogs left to kiss until you find prince charming.
Now for some of us girls, this scene is all too familiar. We all have been dismissed by Mr. Right for a somewhat more attractive, seemingly more enhanced blond. And as much as it sucks at that moment, we hold on to the idea that he is still out there. That when he arrives, fireworks will blast off, butterflies will engulf our nervous stomachs, and he will sweep us off our tired feet. Of course he will be tall, dark, and breathtakingly handsome. After all, would we have the fairytale any other way? Truthfully, as I write this, I want to kick my own ass. Ladies, this hardly ever happens and that kind of love doesn't exist. Or does it? With a heart full of hope, I decided to research this concept of "Love at first sight." Now, I want to say that I still remain a skeptic, but after a bit of research, I DO believe that there is a special someone out there for each and everyone of us. We just haven't been pierced by Cupid's arrow....
Historically speaking, the concept of love at first sight is not an uncommon theme. For centuries complete strangers have fallen head over heels in love with each other upon first glance. The Greeks described this phenomenon as a certain madness, or "theia mania" (madness from the gods). Metaphorically, mythologically, and psychologically speaking, the concept of love at first sight derives from a schema involving loves arrows, or love darts from cupid. Now, one cannot simply be hit with cupids arrows. The placement in which someone is hit, is through the eyes. The arrow then travels to the heart where she or he is plagued by overwhelming desire and longing. As one love-sick Greek god put it: "As soon as I had seen her, I was lost. For beauty's wound is sharper than any weapons, and it runs through the eyes down to the soul. It is through the eye that loves wound passes, and now become prey to a host of emotions."
Ah, I recall that love-sick feeling...my first true love. His name? I couldn't tell you. But he was a big ol' Hershey Kiss for Halloween and I was dressed as Cinderella. Now, it may sound a little hypocritical of me, but the 6-year old Cinderella version of me wanted that Hershey kiss to sweep me off my feet. I have yet to forget that adorable face and I can't help but wonder, was it love at first sight?
Although much of what I have digressed about love is centered around myth and a little naked man shooting arrows through people eyes, there is concrete psychological evidence that it COULD exist. I say "could" subjectively, because it takes exactly .13 seconds to determine if you find another person attractive. It takes another 3 minutes to decide if someone is an appropriate match. That's great and all, but in the .13 seconds you look at someone is it LOVE or is it INFATUATION? In my opinion, both men and women can overlook seemingly unattractive qualities such as being selfish, untrustworthy, or the tendency to be vindictive because they are so damn good looking.
Because I wanted to tap into the male brain, and his perspective on this particular situation, I went to askmen.com. It was there that I came across some interesting information. Low and behold, there are different kinds of men. There are the men that are called "Deep Lovers". These men fall madly in love upon first contact. These are the men that believe that every women is the love of their life and they cannot see past the hourglass, voluptuous chest, and blond hair. The object of their desire may be, pardon my language, a crazy bitch, but in his mind he is still drooling over those lengthy gams. According to the article, "Men often say that they do fall hard within the first moment they see a certain woman, even if she can be annoying like Fran Drescher's laugh." So with that being said, is it love at first sight, or is it lust at first sight?
Now ladies, I do not want to exclude you from this equation. You and me both know that we are a little crazy when it comes to love. Take for example the scene I described above. My heroine, within moments of making eye contact with a guy was planning the honeymoon and naming the children. Every guy we meet somehow becomes "everything we have been looking for" despite their obvious flaws! Ladies, please do not kid yourself, we are all guilty of this! The start of one of my biggest failed relationships was painted with red flags and warning signs saying "DON'T GO THERE: EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE! I think one even said "I WILL NEVER LOVE YOU THE WAY YOU WANT ME TO, BUT I LOOK GREAT IN FOOTBALL PANTS." I am 100% guilty of falling, completely and utterly in lust. Because of this,I cannot blame you men for losing sight of what is truly behind that beautiful face and beautiful body.
So where does love fall into this equation? Although it may not happen upon first glance, do you believe true love exists? Love is said to be a volatile feeling. It wrecks havoc on your emotions leaving you on see-saw of up and downs. It can be an utterly confusing yet beautiful feeling that affects everyone it encounters differently. For some of you it may happen suddenly. For others it will take time. But regardless of who you are, it will happen. Hundreds of years ago, Cupid pierced arrows through the eyes of potential lovers to captivate one another's hearts. Today, maybe all it takes is a quick glance into the eyes of that special someone and truly "seeing" them for the first time. Today, maybe all it takes is a moment; a moment where the person before you captivates your heart.
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| An Adorable Lil Cupid! |
At exactly 8:15 most evenings, I find myself kicking off the stilettos, pulling my hair up, and pouring a glass of Pinot Grigio into my favorite wine glass. The moment the cool, bitter wine, hits my lips I am in heaven. I am no longer in Chattanooga, Tennessee in the midst of preparing dinner. I am in a place where romance runs wild; where my dreams become reality.
I envision myself in Verona, Italy, sitting on a balcony as the sun begins to whisper its final goodbye and the moon slowly makes its appearance amongst the stars. I am sitting cross legged revealing a black cocktail dress and crimson red stilettos. My long, wavy, brunette hair is flowing ever so slightly through the thick, summer breeze and the candle placed strategically in the middle of the table makes my sun-kissed skin glow. I feel absolutely beautiful.
As I sip my wine, I am entranced by the mysterious ocean before me. The dark blue waves cascade like the sweetest song amongst the rocks as I wait for him. Within moments, I feel his soft, familiar lips on my neck as he breathes "Ciao amore mio" seductively into my ear. Passionately our lips meet, as if it were the first time. I smile as he finds his seat across the table. Our eyes meet and we engage in a quiet conversation only the two of us will ever understand. "To a memorable evening", he says as he lifts the glass of blood red wine with a wink of the eye. "To a memorable evening", I whisper back as I realize I am actually standing in my kitchen amongst a pile of dirty dishes and a hot stove. However, the enchantment lingers as I take a long pull from my wine glass and continue to cook dinner.
Wine, in my opinion has a seductive ability to heighten ones desire to dream. It has the power to unveil passion, romance, anger, love, lust, sadness, happiness, and confidence. It's intoxicating qualities leave me pleasantly uninhibited and dolefully unaware of the problems that surround my life. It takes me thousands upon thousands of miles away, across seas, to a balcony in Verona with the love of my life. It is my vice, my savior, my love affair. A love affair that I would like to share with others.
It wasn't until after dinner that evening, that I came up with the idea of writing this blog. I thought about how my nightly glass of wine, was my moment to unwind, to reflect, to think about all that plagued my mind throughout the day. It was my personal "Happy Hour". Although I am unique and somewhat "one of a kind", I knew that I wasn't the only person who pondered life, love, and the meaning of over a glass of wine, a beer, or a cosmopolitan for that matter. So, I began to write. Like wine, writing is a passion of mine and I often find myself writing for no particular reason. Journals and random pieces of paper encompass my life and I am strangely addicted to the randomness in which my thoughts, desires, and experiences, play out on lines of paper. And because they exist on paper, they are concrete. They are eligible for review, eligible to be shared. Luckily for you, I am feeling kind and would like to share my stories, my reflections, my thoughts and ideas. So please, pour yourself a glass of wine, a cocktail, or a beer and sit down with me. Please feel free to comment, share your thoughts, and help me reflect upon life, love, and the meaning of. This is our Happy Hour: A daily shot of life and love.
