Warning, this is a very raw, honest entry that I wrote last year...
I had found myself stranded on an island of uncertainty, eager to seek answers...but fear stood in my way. I am however, pleased to say that I found my way back home and that I am the statuesque woman of strength.
{I feel like I am stranded on an island, with no means to escape, drowning in self-doubt. As I stare out to the vast ocean which portrays pure inhibited beauty and freedom, I remain still. My fear encompasses me. Chokes me. As I stare at the sky, I remember a time where I knew the answers; where life and matters of love didn't encompass uncertainty but resolution. The girl I remember being is not the girl I am today; stranded on this island. The statuesque woman of strength I once was, can quite easily crumble to the touch.
Nearly every hour of the day, my thoughts circle around questions that I desperately seek answers for. When does everything you could ever want, become nothing you want? When does life change so drastically that it makes you wonder what brought you there in the first place? As much as I would like to believe I don't know the answers, I know that I do. The solution is what frightens me, what makes me stand still. I have always been a believer that one should live with no regret; to love with fearless abandonment. But who are we defined by? The people we love or the people we hurt? Can we break promises? Can we change our minds when the party we hope for turns out to be no fun? Is it ok to change....
When it comes to love, the one thing we search high and low for, is it fair to make the rules? Can you fall out of love, break someones heart when you realize its not that time-consuming, butterflies in the tummy, can't live without that person kind of love? Is it fair? Again who are we defined by, the people we love, or the people we hurt? I used to think that karma was the deciding factor in this equation of life. When someone you love hurts you, are they really in the wrong? Do they deserve a multitude of heartbreak and agony the rest of their lives or do they deserve a medal for being brave, for living their life to their own agenda?
I hear it over and over again, don't waste your life thinking about the chances you didn't take...}
Nearly every hour of the day, my thoughts circle around questions that I desperately seek answers for. When does everything you could ever want, become nothing you want? When does life change so drastically that it makes you wonder what brought you there in the first place? As much as I would like to believe I don't know the answers, I know that I do. The solution is what frightens me, what makes me stand still. I have always been a believer that one should live with no regret; to love with fearless abandonment. But who are we defined by? The people we love or the people we hurt? Can we break promises? Can we change our minds when the party we hope for turns out to be no fun? Is it ok to change....
When it comes to love, the one thing we search high and low for, is it fair to make the rules? Can you fall out of love, break someones heart when you realize its not that time-consuming, butterflies in the tummy, can't live without that person kind of love? Is it fair? Again who are we defined by, the people we love, or the people we hurt? I used to think that karma was the deciding factor in this equation of life. When someone you love hurts you, are they really in the wrong? Do they deserve a multitude of heartbreak and agony the rest of their lives or do they deserve a medal for being brave, for living their life to their own agenda?
I hear it over and over again, don't waste your life thinking about the chances you didn't take...}
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| {source: piccsy} |
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